Holy Week April 23

Today is the bleakest day of my life. Jesus is gone; no hope for salvation remains. His disciples are hiding somewhere and I feel exposed as I have nowhere to hide. The darkness in my soul renders me useless to productive thinking. I can only imagine how soon the legal authorities are going to round up all of us who followed Jesus. They hated Him and they killed Him. We are next. I don’t want to be crucified; I can’t handle it. All that Jesus taught us seems to be for nothing. How can I love other people when they don’t love me? How can I believe in a God who allows His son to be crucified? I can only imagine. I have lost direction in my life. I feel like such a fool for being taken in by this man. He was an imposter; claiming to be the Messiah and not being able to save Himself or have God save Him. Now life is not worth anything. I can always follow Judas example, but I don’t want to die. I just wanted to have a savior who would rid us of the Romans and guide my life to eternal forgiveness. I can only imagine what that would have been like. It is now gone.