Pastockwell's Blog

March 28

Psalm 51 Verse 15: Deliver me from death, O God, and my tongue shall sing of your righteousness, O God of my salvation.

I don’t fear dying from this mortal life, and I am sure that this verse is not about mortal death. No, I’m pretty sure this is about my eternal life in Heaven with God. In asking God to deliver me from death, I’m sure that this about salvation through Jesus Christ’s death on a wooden cross 2,000 years ago. All I need is faith in a fact that is hard to find physical evidence which supports it. So I have built my faith in a life of Christian development and education. I have prayed and had answers given or shown to me. I will sing of God’s salvation because I truly understand and believe in salvation from eternal death. I will lead anyone to God by what I have done and what I will do. In the Lord’s Prayer, we ask for forgiveness of our sins known and unknown, things done and left undone. I pray for that forgiveness and the knowledge to correct wrongs I have committed. Come sing with me about the grace given through the mortal death of Jesus so that we may have eternal life with God.

March 26

Psalm 51 Verse 14: I shall teach your ways to the wicked, and sinners shall return to you.

I spent 32 years teaching children about math, science, language arts, reading, social studies, and computer technology. I worked with kids from age of 9 through 14. I coached soccer to ten year olds, as well high school students. However, the most important aspect of my teaching was the relationship developed between myself and each student I taught. I realized many students did not have the same ethical standard with which I was raised. My parents expected me to be honest and hard-working. So I decided that my main job as a teacher was to demonstrate my Christian values in a way which did not violate federal law about separation of church and state. I don’t consider any of my students to have been wicked, but many were not religious. So I taught Christian values using what I knew to help students make better choices about life and their own self-worth. If I have affected the life of at least one person throughout my career, I consider my teaching to have been a success. And is does not end just because I have retired. 

March 26

Psalm 51 Verse 14: I shall teach your ways to the wicked, and sinners shall return to you.

I spent 32 years teaching children about math, science, language arts, reading, social studies, and computer technology. I worked with kids from age of 9 through 14. I coached soccer to ten year olds, as well high school students. However, the most important aspect of my teaching was the relationship developed between myself and each student I taught. I realized many students did not have the same ethical standard with which I was raised. My parents expected me to be honest and hard-working. So I decided that my main job as a teacher was to demonstrate my Christian values in a way which did not violate federal law about separation of church and state. I don’t consider any of my students to have been wicked, but many were not religious. So I taught Christian values using what I knew to help students make better choices about life and their own self-worth. If I have affected the life of at least one person throughout my career, I consider my teaching to have been a success. And is does not end just because I have retired.

March 25

Psalm 51 Verse 13: Give me the joy of your saving help again and sustain me with your bountiful Spirit.

Boy, what can I say about this? I ask each day for help and God gives it generously in ways I don’t even understand. I rejoice in the bounty of God’s love for me, since He is willing to accept me in my imperfection whether or not I have been willing to accept that what I do is not always best for me. The Spirit is present within me because I have opened my heart and soul. My life seems so positive and upbeat that I celebrate what has happened to me. My children are a blessing to me as is my wife. My mother continues to believe in me and I have a sister and brother who are important to me. My nephews and nieces, of which there are many, are a wonder for our future. So I continually ask for your saving help and I am empowered by your bountiful Spirit’s sustaining guidance. None of us in this human race needs to fear, even when bad events interfere with our lives. Through the trials and tribulations of living we can relish our relationship with God and know we will be kept whole. Ask God for help and you shall be sustained.

March 24

Psalm 51 Verse 12: Cast me not away from your presence and take not your holy Spirit from me.

Some one once wrote that living a life believing in God is preferable to living in disbelief. For if God does exist, one is putting their eternal life at risk if they do not believe, whereas if one lives as though there is a God and none exists, then that person has lived well. My faith in a God is evidenced by the very nature in which I live. As I wrote in an earlier posting, I know enough about physics and math to think we are not a random occurrence of the “big bang.” In my mind there exists enough planned design to say that the possibility of a God, or higher deity, far out weighs the likelihood of nothing after life. So I do not want to be cast away from God, nor do I want the His holy Spirit removed from me. I have all of my physical life needing guidance from the holy Spirit and an eternal life needing the presence of God.

March 23

Psalm 51 Verse 11: Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.

This is a standard prayer for most Episcopalians and probably for many Christians throughout the world. I find the prayer to be inclusive of all I might do against others and against my own life. It encompasses all of the sinful actions and thoughts one might perform with or without premeditation. When each of us turns to God and repeats this prayer, I think of it as the most complete cleansing we could have when God answers this prayer. This prayer can be used by anyone who believes in God, or Yahweh, or Allah, or whatever deity is acclaimed by humanity, as it speaks directly to the main reason we humans have so much difficulty living on this planet in harmony. We do not have clean hearts. We do not have right spirits. We argue about mundane, unimportant things which we claim have a guiding interest in promoting our own agendas. I wonder what this world would be like if we simply accepted the concept of loving one another without regard to their rituals or tenets. As a Christian, I believe Jesus Christ is the way to God. I understand others might not believe this. Because I believe this tenet, I feel assured that all of humanity can be saved to eternal life even if they die as non-Christians. So why is it so important to convince anyone of the futility of their religious beliefs if God will sort out the entire minutia we create and perfect us through His guidance? I will continue to pray for a clean heart and a right spirit within me. When I fall from God’s grace because of my sins, known and unknown, I have faith that God will reinstate me when I ask forgiveness of Him. May we all come to share in His heavenly grace.

March 22

Psalm 51 Verse 10: Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquities.

Am I worthy of God’s forgiveness of my sins? Are any of us worthy? Well, the answer to these questions is “No, we are not worthy.” So this verse sends the message that God should hide from us since we are not worthy. However, He does not. I wrote in other verses about the mercy and kindness that God showers upon us with no guarantee of a favorable return on His investment. Instead we ask for our iniquities to be obscured, obliterated, and hidden. We find it difficult to ask for removal of sins, but God grants what is best for us. I want to act in a worthy manner as my faith in God demands. When I fail, God will still be with me.

March 21

Psalm 51 Verse 9: Make me hear of joy and gladness, that the body you have broken may rejoice.

Have you ever wanted to forgo hearing of joy and gladness? Maybe we don’t care to hear about these things when we are not feeling right with our own life. I guess that’s why we can rejoice only with our bodies broken. I’m sure this is not a literal breaking, but the breaking of our sin nature so as to be near God. I then want to hear of the goodness and blessings which happen around me. My wife and I celebrated our daughter’s birthday yesterday with dinner at our house. I had sung in a concert that afternoon attended by my mother and daughter and grandson. It was a joyous day abounding in the gladness of having a successful concert and celebrating another year of life. Life is not easy at times and I rejoice when I realize how much my life is blessed because I continue in the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ. I know people may think me naïve about this God thing, but I have enjoyed my life and survived the trials put before me. I truly believe that we are better off believing and following our Lord than we are disbelieving. So, Lord, when I am not listening to the joy of living in a world created by God, just make me hear so that I may rejoice.

March 19

Psalm 52 Verse 8: Purge me from my sin, and I shall be pure; wash me, and I shall be clean indeed.

This verse has set my mind to thinking about the translation’s wording. Why am I to be purged from my sin and not for my sin? I have been taught that sin is being separated from God. My actions and thoughts are what cause the separation. So if I am to be expulsed, eliminated, or removed from sin, doesn’t that mean I am to be in the presence of God? Please then wash me, cleanse me indeed. But I am still living life created for me by God. I still swear too much at people, think wicked thoughts, act badly toward certain people, and am too much a human. I cannot do this alone, so I pray for guidance from our Lord, understanding that I am the one who must make the changes; deliberately creating this clean heart and pure soul. God is with me always and I must remember that simple fact. Faith in what we can do and not acting as we humanly do, is the answer to my purging from sin and not because of sin.

March 18

Psalm 51 Verse 7: For behold, you look for truth deep within me, and will make me understand wisdom secretly.

I’m a learner from the beginning of my life. I wanted to know what made the sky blue and grass green. I became teacher because I taught Sunday school in Longview, Washington as a sophomore in college and enjoyed watching the kids learn. I have investigated, questioned, and pursued wisdom for all of my life. I wonder about the creation of our planet, solar system, and galaxy. I believe in God, but I want to know why we have been created and placed on this planet? My faith does not question the existence of God or heaven or hell. But I am curious as to why we cannot “just get along” with each other. I understand enough physics to believe the “Big Bang” has purpose and order in the universe. So I pray often for the truth deep within me, amazing and awesome. I am pleased that God will make me understand wisdom, although I am not sure about the secrecy.  Daily I ask for the wisdom to know my purpose in life as God wants it; my reason for living. I have things to accomplish, known and unknown, and often I am unaware that I have achieved them. I reason with my Lord to be informed more. I feel He has been very generous with me. I have talents and I use them when asked and when I am directed by God. So I thank you Lord for the wisdom deep within me and the understanding of wisdom which is kept secret.

March 17

Psalm 51 Verse 6: Indeed, I have been wicked from my birth, a sinner from my mother’s womb.

It is disheartening to think I have been a selfish, ego-centric person from my birth. When I think about my children and grandchildren, I understand how each of them, in order to survive, had to be self-serving as infants. We then teach, train, or cajole them into sharing and thinking other people’s needs, as well as, or even before, their own. Which one of us has not acted such that another person, a family member or friend, has been hurt emotionally? I know I have. The real test for me is not hurting people I do not know. Random people along a street can be subjected to my wrath for walking slowly in front of me, impeding my progress. I don’t really lash out at them physically, but I do think evil thoughts about their upbringing or mental acuity. In the car a driver ahead of me who carelessly alters my direction can initiate a verbal barrage of words that my passengers may take unkindly umbrage. I have to be careful to not teach my grandson new and exciting expletives. I really want that to be someone else’s prerogative. I am an admitted sinner. Daily I ask forgiveness of these atrocities I commit. God understands I am a sinner. In my defense, I am trying to lessen the number of evil thought each day of my life. I hope I will be ready to face my Lord with a clean heart and mind on the last day of my existence on this blue marble. Heaven can wait until I have zero evil thoughts, can’t it?